Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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