If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
