We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
