Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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