My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
