We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
