All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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