This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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