Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
