Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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