i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
