We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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