i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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