Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
