so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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