I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
