Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
