Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The air taste purple.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize