Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
