Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
