So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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