well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
