Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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