Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
