apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
