I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
