i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That accounts for only three of the penises
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize