i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
