glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
