You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
