I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
