So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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