Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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