I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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