i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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