Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
