You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
