your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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