I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
