You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize