Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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