When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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