This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
