why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
