Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
