hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
