we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize