ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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