she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
