When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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