i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You took a bar mat shot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
