Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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