You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
