i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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