She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
