So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize