found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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