Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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