Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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